thoughts....

So I have never really wrote a post about what I feeling which is sort of what a blog is for. I like to use it as sharing memories and things that happen rather than feelings but tonight is an exception as I have a lot on my mind, so here...we.....go! [quote from the Dark Knight]

First of all I have noticed a lot of shelfishness around me for some reason. Not sure if its because I'm being selfish, which I believe I am not, or because of an event that happened last week or so with a person being selfish. I won't go into details but this person showed shelfishness in that I needed to go out of my way to serve his/her's needs (which I have met that person's needs for a long time and didn't complain one bit), which might of included spending my own money on something I really didn't need. At the time I didn't think it was that selfish of this to be asked of me, but the more I think about it, the more I realize how selfish it was for this to be asked of me. So this has gotten me to thinking about the term selfish and looking at those around me and seeing who is selfish. Am I selfish?

Secondly, there is a time in everybody's life when we must make a choice between two decisions. One decision is something we would really want and be happy with, and the other choice is something we would really hate but still wouldn't mind having. I have seen in the past as a person I know chose the latter choice. This choice has brought that person happiness at times but grief and hardache at the same time. Most of the time I sense that there is grief and hardache, more than happiness but I have to wonder why the person would deal with that decision when they can go back to the first choice and move on. I might not ever understand this and it blows my mind everyday when I see this person but its their choice. (Side note: This choice did affect me in a small way and I am learning how to deal with it very slowly. It just amazes me that this choice was even made and that is the hardest part to deal with.)

So yeah, that is what is on my mind and that is why I am up at 1 AM, not able to sleep. There are others things but again, I'm not to fond of reading about people's emotions but rather memories so I'm not going to write about those. Until next time.............